Wednesday, June 10, 2015


 Listen up children! Go get your girdle, prepare your push up bra AND GET READY FOR......

It's the groundbreaking trend that's sweeping the nation (it could be sweeping a nation somewhere, possibly Uzbekistan, we can't be sure). Slutty brunch was conceived in a moment of vain desperation. My friend had an outfit that she knew she looked phenomenal in but (alas) twas too classy for a trashy night and a too trashy for a classy night. 

"Maybe you could wear it to brunch. Except it would have to be, you know.... a slutty brunch." 

BAM! Slutty Brunch was born. I will now present a short poem I wrote in honour of this revelation. 

Now, it doesn't have to be an overtly sexual outfit. The point is that the outfit should be "inappropriate". Whatever that means to you.

Cause I'm bluffin with my muffin somethin somethin

Perhaps the cut on that shirt is too low...SLUTTY BRUNCH.
Perhaps the print on that jacket is too loud... SLUTTY BRUNCH.
Perhaps you think bindis are awesome but you're not even a little bit Indian and don't want to wear one in public for fear that you might offend and do that cultural appropriation thing and yada yada yada... SLUTTY BRUNCH!

So go forth my pretties! Let there be muffins and muffin tops, pastries and pasties. After all, how often do you get to play the provocateur before noon? And surrounded by delicious baked goods no less. 

To wrap up, here are some photos of delicious baked goods.