tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12884390925928762522024-03-13T00:09:31.695-07:00 RIBSAll musings, dirty poetry, and inappropriate illustrations are my own. Momadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14102832251972664711noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1288439092592876252.post-24230092428800523692016-01-28T06:56:00.000-08:002016-01-28T07:39:56.480-08:00Top 10 Luxuries of Adult Domestic Life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16pt;">Before I begin writing this I should specify that
the adult domestic life that I am currently inhabiting is not my own. I've
stolen it temporarily from my parents. I'm basically a glorified squatter for
this Christmas holidays and as such I am able to benefit from all the amenities
that full fledged adult hood can provide for you. To understand the dramatic
transition I have made you must first understand my current living situation:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">*Disclaimer #1: I realize that it is no longer
Christmas. I wrote this in December and am just posting it now. I’m not a liar. I’m just lazy. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">*Disclaimer #2: I'm about to go into a rant about my life. If you want to skip this please scroll down to the part where the letters get all bold and exciting. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">RANT: I spend the majority of my days sharing a 12 by 15 ft bedroom with a large bearded Kiwi and a skinny ginger stoner (both lovely
people) in a dilapidated building in Scotland. Our idea of home renos and
improvements consist of said stoner inventing some kind of contraption that
will allow him to access his xbox controller without having to leave the
sanctuary of his top bunk. There are fairy lights running in a Pac Man like
pattern down the ceiling that diverge strategically around a dead shag fly. I
think this may count as art. The chorus of the night has three parts and they
go as such: The tenor comes in first from the hallway as Spaniards shout excited
and heart-warming sentiments to their friends and family over Skype (they're
either sentiments or death threats. I dunno I only took 2 years of Spanish).
Then the altos come in. They're the drug addicts screaming at each other from 3
stories below. That part can be disturbing but it's ok because then the soprano
comes in… an Irish stag party will often pass and drown all this out with their
drunken rugby chants. We live on the busiest street, right in the city centre
which is why we get front row seats to this concert each night (location,
location, location). But it's all part of the charm. The room smells like we're
living inside of a giant pizza box that someone farted in. If you want to get
rid of the smell you generally have to spray something or light a candle but
then it just smells like farty-pizza scented candle. Which some people could be
into. I dunno. I prefer lavender. We order pizza every single night because
apparently we would rather become personified versions of whatever I imagine
gluten to be than actually walk down 3 flights of stairs and venture into a grocery
store. If I have to eat one more pizza I may be forced to crush myself under
our beer bottle collection and become the new permanent fixture, squished on
the floor opposite Mr. Shag fly. And no one wants that (I don't have the same
post-impressionist charm as Mr. Shag fly).<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">END RANT</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">So yah! That's what I'm working with these days.
Not exactly the Hilton but I like it. Until, that is, I stumbled back into the
sweet SWEET luxury that is La Casa de Mis Padres (there's some of that second
year Spanish again for ya.) Let me tell you, it has multiple rooms, a full
sized fridge, AND tissue paper. It's funny how you don't realize how rich your
parents are before you move out but damn... it is a lavish life they lead. So
without further ado (and I know there was a lot of ado), these are the:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;"> Top 10 Luxuries of Adult Domestic Life</span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">1) Multiple rooms. If someone is in a room and you
don't want to be around anyone, YOU CAN WALK INTO A DIFFERENT ROOM. Privacy can
in fact be more than putting in your headphones and a blanket over your eyes or
running into a communal bathroom stall to cry softly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>LUXURY. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">2) You can sing as loudly as you want! I’m talking
belting show tunes at the top of your lungs and there’s a whole yard between
you and the next house. Anyone who likes to sing will automatically get this
and anyone who doesn't won't so that's all I need to say. You can sing as loudly
as you want. LUXURY.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">3) Watching TV on an actual TV so you can do shit
on your computer at the same time. LUXURY.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">4) A car gets you places and it does it faster than
your legs would. LUXURY. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">5) You can go to the fridge and its full of stuff
other than beer and moldy Tupper ware that you’re going to end up throwing out
instead of cleaning. LUXURY. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">6) When you answer the door it’s probably just
something you ordered from amazon and not a junkie who found his way into the
building. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>LUXURY.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">7) The fire alarm will probably only ever go off
when there’s a fire. LUXURY.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">8) Your family probably won’t set a mattress on
fire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>LUXURY.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">9) Your neighbors aren’t clearly orchestrating a
complex drug ring with the homeless people in your community. LUXURY. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">10) FINALLY (and this is the big one): Toilet paper
and… tissue paper. I feel that this is one of the most underrated differences
between adult domestic life and… whatever the fuck I’m doing right now. They
have two different types of paper, each of which cater to TWO DIFFERENT TYPES
OF SKIN! They cater SPECIFICALLY to ass or nose. This is a luxury that I never
knew was a luxury. I’ll know that I’ve made it in life when I buy separate
types of fabric to wipe my ass and my nose. SUCCESS. Also…. *<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">whispered</i>* LUXURY.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">So yes. Someday I hope to achieve this level of
success and luxury but it’s important to remember that it is not in the stars
for everyone. Don’t set your sights too high. Don’t reach for the stars. That’s
scary. Just reach for a near by ledge. Any who, for now I’m going to soak it
all up and use this valuable time to treat myself. And also to hang out with
pets, which is actually the part I envy most about an adult domestic life.
Being able to have fur people that greet you at the door when you walk in and
cuddle with you at night and cause adorable chaos is the ultimate luxury. Can’t
wait till I’m responsible and in one place enough to have a pet, and I will
treat them to all the toilet and tissue paper that their little fur person
heart desires. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7vs0oK47SlV5WC4iwloaktT5NvV-mmLkPRAKGCJFQy7GaweBfZOh2stK572diHJi1lrhLgPpghV3uNwBLWQIMuZOSFFwV2XS440Ilmw5ltcDEdEEn3spuOx5KlnUFL9usOBkR0BFapmU/s1600/papercat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7vs0oK47SlV5WC4iwloaktT5NvV-mmLkPRAKGCJFQy7GaweBfZOh2stK572diHJi1lrhLgPpghV3uNwBLWQIMuZOSFFwV2XS440Ilmw5ltcDEdEEn3spuOx5KlnUFL9usOBkR0BFapmU/s400/papercat.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Luxury.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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Momadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14102832251972664711noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1288439092592876252.post-33568597539432770452015-06-10T03:21:00.000-07:002016-01-28T07:36:41.415-08:00SLUTTY BRUNCH<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16pt;">Listen up children! Go get your girdle, prepare your push up bra AND GET
READY FOR......</span></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 18.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">It's the groundbreaking trend that's sweeping the
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">BAM! Slutty Brunch was born. I will now present a short poem I wrote in
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Now, it doesn't have to be an overtly sexual outfit. The point is that
the outfit should be "inappropriate". Whatever that means to you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigk61FP0wyPgLEAaNT4Y4gZE7ObPP0uH8QFKtkJxc1j8IyGnjbbcuC17OtGZNEwBG8nxbZZQkpqdtzTgaAEp3y61gPVV6s9SJg7nU48KqUh-3oAhEQSCx4UijSO7oUn69MaG-8t4s-uwA/s1600/sluttymuffin%2528ribs%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigk61FP0wyPgLEAaNT4Y4gZE7ObPP0uH8QFKtkJxc1j8IyGnjbbcuC17OtGZNEwBG8nxbZZQkpqdtzTgaAEp3y61gPVV6s9SJg7nU48KqUh-3oAhEQSCx4UijSO7oUn69MaG-8t4s-uwA/s400/sluttymuffin%2528ribs%2529.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cause I'm bluffin with my muffin somethin somethin</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Perhaps the cut on that shirt is too low...SLUTTY
BRUNCH.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Perhaps the print on that jacket is too loud...
SLUTTY BRUNCH.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Perhaps you think bindis are awesome but you're not even a little bit
Indian and don't want to wear one in public for fear that you might offend and
do that cultural appropriation thing and yada yada yada... SLUTTY BRUNCH!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">So go forth my pretties! Let there be muffins and
muffin tops, pastries and pasties. After all, how often do you get to play the
provocateur before noon? And surrounded by delicious baked goods no less. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">To wrap up, here are some photos of delicious baked
goods. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Momadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14102832251972664711noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1288439092592876252.post-62826934828024418662015-05-10T09:47:00.000-07:002020-05-01T09:02:31.993-07:00MY FIRST MOVIE ALONE: A tale of consumerism and the fat lonely masturbator <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Today I went to the movie theatre ALONE for the
first time ever. I don't ever do this. There are a few reasons for that:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">a) I normally have friends who go with me to these
kinds of things. <i>They're real</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">b) I don't have enough money to just go
gallivanting to the theatre all the time. Who do you think I am? Alice Walton?
Heiress to Walmart? <i>She's real</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">c) I'm scared that if I go alone to the theatre
then the fat man sitting alone in the back (who everyone knows is probably masturbating)
will come over, sit next to me, whisper "we're the same, you and I,"
and start masturbating beside me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">d) We now live in a more civilized world where
there's Netflix and illegal downloads and everyone can masturbate in the
sanctity of their own home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">But these were extenuating circumstances. You see,
I've recently moved to a new country and I (through no fault of my own) haven't
made very many friends yet. And normally I can keep myself fairly busy but my
job won't let me work on account of my just getting out of hospital for my dead
lung (long story) and now I don't know how to fill my lonely days. Also, my
boyfriend and I (<i>he's real</i>) just bought monthly magic movie cards where
we need only pay a monthly fee and then we can go to as many movies as we'd
like. Well he was at work and I have no friends and I have a magic card and I
have a dead lung so I thought "Fuck it! The fat lonely masturbator and I
are gonna be real good friends!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">I didn't put on any makeup or bra because that
would be presumptuous. Like dressing up for a date you don't have. I just
moseyed on up to the theatre to await my judgement. My monthly magic movie card
wasn't swiping properly so this
meant I'd have to deal with an actual employee instead of a machine. Like the
cave men did.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Him: "Do you have any preference of where
you'd like to sit?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Judgemental asshole. Who the fuck do you think you
are?</span></i><span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Me: "Just kind of centre. Thanks."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Him: "No problem."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">You're damn straight there isn't a problem. Didn't
need a pimply little entry level employee to tell me that. I know who I am. I
KNOW WHO I AM.</span></i><span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Me: "Is the theatre very full?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Him: "Sorry?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Did I stutter? </span></i><span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Me: "It's just, I want to know if I should buy
a ticket for my friend..."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Who?</span></i><span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Me: "...Or will he be good if he gets here a
bit late?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">What are you doing?</span></i><span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Him: "It's not too full. He should be
fine."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">He's real. HE'S REAL!</span></i><span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Me: "Oh perfect. I'll let him know.
Thanks."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">You don't deserve a monthly magic movie card you
lying piece of shit. </span></i><span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">That was pathetic. I take back everything I said
about you, you efficient pimply little man. You are a better person than I.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">I grabbed two straws for my drink to imply that two
may share it but did not go so far as to buy another drink. That would be
overkill. I stepped triumphantly into the dark sanctuary of the theatre.
Stealth mode. No one could see me in here. I was safe. Except for the fat lonely
masturbator, he was still an imminent threat. I shuffled into seat H13. It
wasn't the seat I was assigned but I was claiming it because I was a lone
moviegoer now. A rebel. We take what we want when we want it and we don't
apologize to no one. I looked behind me for the fat lonely masturbator,
maintaining stealth mode. He was no where to be found. In fact, most of the
crowd looked relatively normal. Most of average weight. Average build. Hands no
where near their genitalia. Except for the kid in row F but his mom seemed to
have a handle on that. Had I imagined the fat lonely masturbator? Was he a
character concocted in my mind? Or worse.... had I BECOME the fat lonely
masturbator? Had the torch been passed? I
sighed a sigh of relief remembering that my weight had plummeted to dangerously
low levels in hospital while suffering from the dead lung. Thank god.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">A girl squeezed in a few seats down from me. She
saved a seat between us with her coat. Two can play at that game, bitch. I
saved H12 just because I can. Just as I was realizing that eventually her date
would come and mine would not (thus revealing my inferiority), the lights
dimmed even dimmer (super stealth mode) and the commercials came on. The sweet
smell of confectionary candy rippled through the air from somewhere nearby.
That girl had bought twizzlers. I only bought popcorn. Now I had an avalanche
of salt and nasty kernels taking up residence in my molars without any sugariness to break it up. Rookie mistake. Her date was probably bringing
popcorn. She would have salt AND sugar AND a date. There was no God. But as the
commercials continued to roll by they caught my attention I was struck by an
unfamiliar feeling. I had no urge to sneer at the screen. Could it be because I
had no one beside me with which to exchange critical comments on consumerism?
No cynical partner = No cynical observation obligations.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">I began to let the happy jingles wash over me,
apprehensive at first but then content in a brand new way (emphasis on brand).
I let myself feel alive and free as I rolled over the hills of the countryside
with Dodge Caravan. I felt active and immune from heart failure with
McDonalds and I was, indeed, 'Lovin' it'. I let myself feel not entirely afraid
of and/or disturbed by the weird animated movie theatre mascot telling me how
magical my Cineworld experience was going to be. I trusted him. I was consumed.
MORE THAN THAT I was a <i>CONSUMER</i>. And proud of it god dammit. I
looked to my right at Jane (she looked like a Jane).... Jane still had no date. <i>Cutting it a little close Chad,
isn't it? You gonna stand Jane up? </i>I then realized that Jane didn't have a date either. And she wasn't bothered!
And why would she be? We were just two normal gals who decided to go to the
movie theatre alone today... AND THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT! No one was
judging us. I wasn't inferior. We were equals. "We're the same, you and
I," I whispered softly to no one. Jane and I were alone together. Together
and absolutely LOVING this coca cola commercial. I offered Jane some popcorn
hoping to get a twizzler offer in return. She declined. Turns out Jane was a
bit of a cunt. But fuck her. I was still in the ZONE!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">This had already been such a roller coaster ride of
emotions and we hadn't even reached the trailers. I wasn't sure if my sodium
enriched heart could take it! But I made it. More than made it. I felt every
second of it exactly the way I wanted to feel it. I didn't feel obligated to
laugh when I didn't find something funny or not laugh when no one else did. I
didn't feel guilty when I failed to shed a tear at the death of the female lead
or when I sobbed hysterically at the death of the dog. Who was I disturbing? No
one. No one was close enough or involved enough to care. Except Jane but fuck
that bitch. I was free. When the credits rolled I wasn't plagued with the
compulsion to ask "Sooo.... what did you think of it?" The question that always made me feel anxious as if the movie up for
critique was my own. No. I knew how I felt. I knew what I thought. I knew WHO.
I. WAS. Fuck Jane and anyone who dared to judge me. I would be doing this
again very soon.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 16.0pt;">If this is what it felt like to be the fat lonely masturbator, then I
was all in.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Momadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14102832251972664711noreply@blogger.com1